How to Keep a Man Interested Beyond the Second Date: Do you know how to keep a man interested beyond the second date? How many times have you met a great guy and thought everything was going great, but he stopped calling after the second date? You wonder what happened. He seemed so perfect and everything was going so well, at least you thought it was. This scenario will repeat itself many times during your adult dating life.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Posted by Lisa Musser at 9:56 PM
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Learning how to build confidence is like learning to ride a bike, it just takes some practice. When I hear someone say, I'm just not pretty enough to date him I know that it is just a lack of confidence holding them back.
We make excuses for why we don't have dates on Friday nights. If we happen to remain dateless for a period of time, our minds start to rationalize that it must be because we just aren't beautiful enough. This is an old problem, lack of confidence.
I come from a family of short, overweight women. My mother was short and passed that on to me and my daughter. Typical height is 5'3 and slightly chunky. I have never really been skinny, I lost some weight just before I got pregnant with my first child and since then I have never been able to get back to where I was. And my daughter has the same problem. She gained a lot of weight while pregnant with her son.
But what amazes me is the fact that although she doesn't feel that she is particularly beautiful, she manages to attract guys all over the place. What's her secret: she has an outgoing and spontaneous personality. Guys love it. It's like a magnet, I don't think she is even aware of it.
Confidence attracts men like bees to honey.The most attractive thing about a woman is her confidence. If she seems at ease in any situation, a guy knows she is being herself.
Knowing how to build confidence is a skill that any one can learn and use to raise their self-esteem, especially if you've not been dating for a while. Sometimes we put our dating life on hold due to frustration, it's just easier to stay home and rent a movie.
Guys love women in all their shapes and sizes. Although most men would admit that they may not initially be attracted to a larger woman, then they meet a woman with a great personality and a lot of confidence it changes their perspective. This is true just look around. How many times have you seen a really handsome guy with a woman who is pretty and well-dressed, and wonder how she got him because he's soooo good-looking?
Being pretty may bring more men into your life, but they may not be the right ones. Chemistry is a matter of many things, including common interests, beliefs, and compatible personalities. It's not just about two mutually attractive people seeing one another.
Build confidence by doing little things you're comfortable with. Like smiling at guys when walking down the street, or at work or even in line at the grocery store.
To find the right man, you simply need to create situations where your winning personality could do its work. Smile at more strangers, expand social circles, get involved in fun activities, attend more city events. Feeling good about yourself will naturally make you more confident.
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Posted by Lisa Musser at 1:43 PM
Monday, August 3, 2009
If you're a single woman then you need to know the dating secrets. These are little clues in his personality and behavior that will tell you for sure if he is into you or not. And if he's not, then don't waste any more of your time on him, move on to the next candidate.
Women all over the world need a way to know whether or not a guy is really interested. We change our lives every time we meet someone new. Waiting by the phone because they said they'd call and turning down plans with
friends because they might miss his call.
To quote a line from the movie( and you know which one I mean) "If he's not calling, he's just not interested". If he makes excuses for why he didn't call, he's lying! If a man really wants something he will make every effort to get it. If he's making excuses then he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. It will be a different excuse the next time-please don't' fall for it. Once is enough, a guy who consistently makes excuses for things isn't all that interested.
Here are some little clues for you, that will let you know that he is definitely interested.
1. He can't wait to spend time with you.
He always calls ahead to confirm your dates. This guy leaves nothing to chance; he wants to make sure that you haven't changed your mind about going out with him. Since he knows it's in bad taste to cancel a date at the last minute.
2. He's not in a hurry to end the date.
When the date is over, he asks if you would like to go get coffee, a drink or anything else to delay the ending of the evening. He is enjoying his time with you and doesn't want to see it end. He is using this time to his advantage by making sure he impresses you in any way he can, he wants you to keep seeing him.
A guy who is truly interested in you will make the effort to let you know that he likes you.
Posted by Lisa Musser at 9:43 AM
Friday, July 31, 2009
He's Not That Into You"
I got this book a few weeks ago and started reading it. I have to say that I was one of those women who made the same assumptions when it came to guys not calling back. I'd meet someone and everything seemed to be going good, I gave him my number and he did call a couple times. So I thought I had it made. In our last conversation he said he'd call the next day. But the next day came and went and no phone call.
Like most women, I just assumed that maybe he was busy and didn't have the chance to call yet, so I waited. And after a few days I began to wonder if maybe he lost my number. I wondered if I should call him just in case. So finally I did, I got his voice mail and left a casual message. I thought now for sure he'll call back. A few days went by and no call. But still for some reason It never occurred to me that maybe he just wasn't all that interested. And I spent a couple of days doing what every woman does when this happens: wondering what I did wrong! Did I say something to scare him off, was I not attractive enough, in my mind there just had to be some reason. But really, I did nothing wrong. I just couldn't see that he wasn't that into me.
I got the book "He's Just Not That Into You" by Liz Tuccillo and Greg Behrendt. I had seen it advertised and this was before the movie came out. So I got into the book right away, I was curious about how guys think when it comes to dating and relationships. I could myself in those examples in the book, I was making the same assumptions and the same excuses they were.
The idea for this book came about by accident. Greg Behrendt was at a conference where the author of this book was also attending. Some of the others were sitting around talking and one women asked a question and it was Greg's answer right off that set the whole thing in motion.
She was telling a friend that she met this guy and everything was great and then suddenly he stopped calling. She asked her friend if she had done anything to scare him away. So she was quite shocked when Greg answered the question by saying "No, it sounds like he just wasn't that into you! Wow, could it really be that simple? Just a lack of interest?
We make all kinds of excuses as to why a guy hasn't called back because we don't want to think that the nice, good-looking guy we just met could be that rude. But it's not rudeness on his part. He just doesn't want to hurt your feeling or risk making you cry by saying that he really doesn't think it will work out. Men will do anything to not hurt your feelings, at least most decent men will there area few exceptions. So he thinks it's kinder to not lead you on by calling or returning your messages.
But we as women do this too. You have to change the way you see this. Imagine it from a different perspective. Let's say you meet this really nice guy, he's good-looking but not exactly the type your looking for. You talk and he asks for your number. You agree to a date and go out. But you realize after the date that although he's a great guy, theres just something lacking for you. Not anything he did wrong, but your just not really interested in going on another date with him. Here is the saying reversed "You're just not that into him" simple as that. So what do you do? Do you call him and say "hey your a great guy but I'm just not interested in dating you anymore? No way, that would be cruel. I'll just not call him, he'll eventually get the picture and I wont have to hurt his feelings. Sound familiar? It easy to understand this once you see it from a different angle.
If you'd like more insight on men, from a guy's view I recommend reading the book. I really enjoyed it and he is upfront and honest about how guys think. Straight from the horse's mouth. I have experienced the same thing over and over so I know from personal experience. Believe me you are not the only one who has this problem. Read the examples and letters from other women, I know you will see yourself in everyone of them like I did. Not being someones type isn't a crime. We just need to remove the personal feelings from it and realize that if were not his type then we are someone elses and we just haven't met them yet. Move on to the next adventure without hurt feelings and guilt.
I wholeheartedly recommend you read He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys before doing anything else. I'm sure you will love this book as much as I did.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Ok, here it is just like I promised. I just finished reading the book "Flirting Made easy". The author wrote me to say that she changed the title of the book to "From Flirting To Forever". The reason for the name change is that the way the book is written, the idea of flirting doesn't stop with just getting a guys attention. She is conveying the message that the art of flirting is a necessary skill to learn in order to keep the attraction going.
I have to say that I even learned a few things from it. I am just an ordinary woman, who is in the dating pool just like all of you. I am not an expert on relationships, but I started this blog for women like myself who may be struggling when it comes to dating and maintaining a relationship.
We have all been there, you meet someone and connect( or so you think) only to never hear from them again. Why? What went wrong? You ask yourself over and over, what could I have done differently?
Well since reading this book, I have a little better understanding of how men think. The author polled a group of men and asked them questions on attraction and used their real life answers as a basis for this book.
Like the two reasons men wont commit;
1. You're not the one
2. He's not ready
If a man thinks you're the one, and he is ready to have a relationship, there isn't anything he wont do to make that happen. On the other hand, if you're not the one or he's not ready, he'll walk away.
The group of men were asked this question: What do they want and need from a woman. Their answer was, to feel needed and valued as a man. Just like women, they want to feel like they are needed and wanted and they they are special to us. Guy's tend to walk away when they feel that we really don't need them for anything other than sex.
And how about overcoming shyness? This was a problem for me too. There is a section outlining how you can overcome shyness once and for all. How to change your attitude and feelings about yourself, that will change the way guys see you outwardly. It's a proven fact that everyone seems to be drawn to the popular or outgoing girls. If you notice, at a party there's always one girl who seems to have all the guys attention, and she's not overly beautiful but she seems to be the center of attention.
I enjoyed the book, a very good read and learned some new things to apply to my life about confidence and attracting men. I highly recommend it!
Flirting Made Easy!